Northern Shoreline

I woke up and it was half past the designated time.
I open the shutting blinds of my one windowed bedroom.
I looked out over the sea to find him sitting there,
in the middle of the bay looking lost and frightened.
How did he get out there so far away from shore?
I still do not know.
I quickly went out and pulled him back in to the coastline.
We took off our shoes outside the house and sat on the place mats
along the floor.
I could see in his eyes he was thankful but curious.
Why would someone like I give him help after everything we've been through.
I gave him hot tea and a bit to eat but he was unhappy.
It occurred to me that this same scene did happen before.
I left the room quickly to retrieve a small dagger from the locking cabinet.
I told him that I was busy and he thanked me briefly and turned to walk out.
I stuck the knife in him as he grabbed a hold of the latch to leave.
He will no longer get lost out at sea.

Failure

bound by the emotions we feel
i feel strangled like i can't get away from a bad situation
i feel lost like i can't find my way home in a sea of problems
i feel tortured like it hurts to spend time with certain peers
i feel alone like i have no one to share my day with
i feel older like i'm growing apart from everything i held dear
i feel helpless like nothing i do will help the matter
i feel upset that nothing i do measures up to what goals i've set
i feel crazy about the fact that though people tell me everything is alright i still feel like i'm going out of my head
i feel dizzy like i won't find my feet on stable ground anytime soon
i feel naked like everything i love is being stripped away
i feel uneasy that my life won't get better anytime soon
i feel empty even though i don't know what's missing.




this is how i feel.

Temples Beating

there's nothing i can do at this point
but watch myself crash and burn
these days colder are supposed to
be getting warmer. you run out your
front door and feel that whoosh of wind
that makes your eyes tear and you remember
you're still alive. your voice croaks and you smell
the dry dullness of the air around you.
you walk down the street pass the evergreen trees
down by the creek you find solace in the
rushing water and hardness of the ground beneath you.
you stare up at the sky with clouds
making shapes around you and you wonder.
this day is still to daydream and guess about the future.
everything is so gray and beautiful.
all the leaves, flowers, and and other plant life is long gone.
you try and make your assumptions but your just so tired.



ehhh.