Sinking

stretching out along the surface
lying prostrate on the ground
hands tied behind my back
i'm seeking you out in near impossible conditions
it always turns to this even after the positive
the gut wrenching feeling begins as nausea sets in
flipping over to stare into the drafted darkness
it reminds me of being in bed
wrapped up in blankets
late night whispers through electrical currents
when you speak in that defeated tone
i'm transferred back to this place
there are no windows, no doors
gaping open towards the top - the only escape
but these ties won't break or tear
there isn't any give in the walls for me to climb
so the more you refer back to hopelessness
the deeper i'm sunk, and more tightly bound
even though it it seems irrelevant or almost untrue
the way i feel still burns there quietly.

Good Morning

the knobs turn
i step in being careful of the temperature
getting only my feet wet first
i find solace on the floor of the shower
leaning my head against the cool tile
and my knees tucked to my chest, I sit and listen
all my thoughts for today are displaced here and then pieced together
my eyes slowly raise towards the ceiling
watching the dim light in the bathroom cast shadows on the wall
it's early morning and my head is buzzing
while my body remains slightly numb still
my hair sticks and clings to my face
i trace patterns into the steam draping the walls.
my mind is most at peace here
sometimes i never want to leave
for fear of what might come if I do
freedom to let my mind wander, lack of criticism
and bad reaction.
the water sprayed washes away what's left of the previous day, bad or good.
my hands start to soften and prune and I know I should leave
I once again reach for the knobs
It's time to step back into reality.