Resurface?

and in a flash of silent light he was gone from my eyes
sinking down into the wet moss and mud
i choke out a woosh of air.
my head is spinning and my arms fall limp at my sides.
how could he devestate me in such a way more servere from anyone else?
i am so very vulnerable without him here, always.
a barely audible croak came from my throat
as my head falls back against a tree.
I must have sat there for hours watching the purple veins glow under my translucent skin.
Thinking all along how me and him would never once look at each
other in the eyes ever again.
My life versus his was of little importance to me now.
The search party came finally after quite some time.
My father and his friends carried me home out of the woods.
I couldn't speak and barely thought of anything else.
Looking in the mirror I was undoubtedly a sopping mess.
But he had left me more permanently disfigured on the inside.
Remembering his face ripped a gaping hole in my chest wide enough to put this town into.
I was praying to just blackout and have all thoughts, pains, worries - turned out like lights.
Cradling my forehead with one hand and
reaching to wrap my arm around my torso -
I contemplated my life with a love with which was stolen from me now.
He was what I had always wanted and so very much more.
I don't remember how I go there, but suddenly
I was face down, cheek pressed to the cold tile of the bathroom floor.
My pain constricted my lungs and I wondered if it would just crush them completely.
Hello world, my name is Kelsey and as of now I don't exist.